Thursday, July 16

The d'ash'ing illusionist without 'The Prestige'

Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts. The first part is called "The Pledge". The magician shows us something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows us this object. Perhaps he asks us to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal. But of course... it probably isn't. The second act is called "The Turn". The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary. Now we're looking for the secret... but we won't find it, because of course we're not really looking.. we don't really want to know.. we want to be fooled. But we wouldn't clap yet. Because making something disappear isn't enough.. he has to bring it back. This third act, the hardest part, is called "The Prestige".

Well.. we had an illusionist at our college. I ll tell u his pledge, turn n the prestige..

The Pledge: He ll be showin himself lying down on his bed covered with a blanket, facing a wall n watchin comedy/action series in his laptop. We can see dat hez perfectly normal n natural at dis stage. But wat we dont see is dat hez scannin everything behind him
The Turn: I cant tell u abt the turn coz i havent watched it for myself.. well some ppl in our coll claim dat dey saw his 'turn' but it was still a conspiracy.. but one thing.. after "The Turn" some stuff in the room/others' rooms were found to be missing
The Prestige: Hey.. c'mon.. u might've guessed by now.. therz no 'Prestige'.. he doesn't bring back the missing stuff.. well the stuff returns.. but its ownership changes.. so its not "The Prestige" by rule

I once saw a video clip spoofin David Blaine's street magic.. it was really funny.. 2 guys spoof the audience n dey scream like idiots "How did ye do dat!!" after they see the 'turn'..

I ll give u reactions of some of the victims of our d'ash'ing illusionist (the victims were not idoits.. some were one of the best brains in our coll)

Sudheer: How did u do dat!! (for his 400 bucks from his bank a/c)
Sudheer: How.. How did u do dat!! (for his trimmer #1)
Sudheer: How the hell did you do dat!! (for his trimmer #2)
Sudheer: Arey mama.. how did he do dat?? (for his USB HDD)
(Well.. he was frustated coz he became the multiple-victim for our kleptomaniac)
Abhiram: Rey saami.. how did u do dat!! (for his class notes)
Nagendran: How did u do dat!! (for his i-pod)
Shravan: Oh Jesus.. how did u do dat!! (the above ipod was with him wen "The Turn" happened)
Ajit: How did u do dat maadi!! (for his pen-drive)
Sandeep(babai): How did u do dat!! (keeper of the above pen-drive durin "The Turn")
Nagarjuna: Rey jaffa.. how did u do dat!! (for his digital camera)

Our d'ash'ing illusionist has his own style of "The Prestige".. the stuff comes back after some days (it depends on da skill n risk in "The Turn" n also its post-investigations).. but eventually it comes back.. by dat time dis kleptomaniac has a nice story (typically "arey.. my sister gave dis ra") to declare his ownership over the stuff..

Well..on a fateful day in our third year his "Treasury" was searched n some stuff whose ownership was yet to be changed was recovered.. we were really amazed to see some things in his treasury which were not thought to be flicked by him.. the illusionist was rewarded properly.. but he was back to form in the final year with nag's cam

I ll sign off tellin u one thing off the record.. i used to borrow pen-drive from our d'ash'ing illusionist often (hez a definite n reliable source for pen-drives.. hez an "Electronics freak".. very loyal to his branch ece).. i m not makin dis up but he used to give me different pen-drives each time.. so finally wenever i cudn't get a pen-drive to use, i started to ask him.. once he asked me to wait (may be he dint have one dat time) n after some 10 minutes appeared with one.. God knows wat he did in those 10 minutes!!

Somebody at home is missing nitw pen-drives n hdds now!!

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Wednesday, July 1

The 'stars' must be crazy!!

Two days back i attended a function at one of my relative's place.. durin da usual chit-chat on politics(i wud rather call it crap-chat) one of my uncles (hez a distant relative) said dat in dec'08, he read in a news paper an article published by an astrologer predictin da outcome of AP state elections goin to be conducted in march'09.. my uncle said dat da columnist predicted YSR as the cm, and tdp, prp n da others wont give significant contribution to da outcome of election.. well dis was predicted based on da individual "kundali" of the respective political party leaders.. dis column was published in dec'08..

Then i happened to recall a tv show hosted in 'i news' channel on da night b4 the declaration of AP election results.. dis was after the elections in da second week of may'09.. the guests were some 6 famous astrologers in the state.. well although dey differed individually on da num of seats each party wud get (i bet all my future earnings dat the num of seats cannot be predicted in ne astrological means by examining the kundali of individual party leaders).. all dese famous astrologers agreed to one point.. dat Chiranjeevi wud either become a "King" or a "King Maker".. well he became a clown in the king's court (assembly) n is presently cheerin the crowd..

So now we can easily tell y da outcome was in favour of YSR in da former case n y it had become in favour of Chiru in da latter case.. even dese astrologers get carried away by the media-hype, election speculations, exit polls n want to make predictions dat wud be the most likely outcome to happen.. not based on astrology or kundali or watever crap for which dey r famous in the first place but by the speculations in media and decidin on their own intuition which is done by every average tv viewer..

So how can dese astrologers
#1. Who really dont believe in the stuff in which they were "allegedly expert" in (predicting human behavior n future by kundali)

#2. Who believe in their mere human intuition (even animals do dis.. animals have the power of intuition over logic whereas mankind has the power of logical analysis over intuition.. dis is a trade-off)

#3. Who dont believe in themselves
be relied upon for predictin the human behaviour n even deciding the compatibility of couples b4 marriage advising dem not to marry the astro'logically' incompatible couples??

We all know dat 'kundali' is made based on da time n place of birth of an individual.. consider dis realistic (not hypothetical) scenario.. I was born on 17th june 1988 at 10:07 AM in Rajahmundry (now dont ask me accordin to whose watch.. coz da question is perfectly logical n hence shud not be appreciated).. some 50 children might have born on the same day at the very same time in rjy (in rjy dere were some 25 well practising obstetricains dat time.. i m considering a fair possible case)

So the kundali of all dese 50 children ll be da exact same (same date, time n place) n hence the influence of da stars/planets/galaxies/pulsar stars/black holes (even artificial satellites may come into dis list in future) will be the same thoughout their lives.. but its obvious dat the behavior, personality, abilities, areas of interest, way of life, degree of success (what not?) are quite different for dese 50 people.. some may be "Kings" now, some may be "King Makers" now n some may be sittin idle at home now writing blogs like me..

I ll tell u how different people think abt dis astrology n their mode of belief in it..

#1. The first kind of people believe it with their heart irrespective of their education (educated people shud be at least sensible.. keep aside rational).. i've seen dis guy near the labor room in a hospital.. his wife in labor (critical situation) was in operation theater n dis guy was shoutin at his in-laws for gettin the operation started in "astrologically inauspicious" time of the day.. well eventually both the lady n the child were saved.. the punch of dis hunch was dat he is a postgraduate!!

#2. The second kind of people give importance to astrology wen the time/reason/risk permits.. dese people criticize behaving in da above manner for da above situation.. but believe in "auspicious times" wen time permits (for eg. startin a business), consult astrologers for marriage compatibility, etc.,.. i feel dat dis is worse dan the above case.. in the above scenario the person believes in himself although havin the logical ability in da magnitude of a tea-spoon.. but in dis case the guy thinks hez an "ideal,educated, smart intellectual".. but in fact he doesnt believe his head, his heart, the astrologer, even himself..

#3. The third kind of people think astrology is bullshit (include me in dis category) n tell people the way dey think abt astrology (like wat i m doin now).. well i don't wanna criticize myself in my blog.. so feel free to comment upon dis kind of people..

I ll conclude dis post by givin a piece of advice to people who believe in astrology/kundali/horoscope (i generally don't advise.. but u know.. pathetic people badly need help)

So here's the advice.. from now onwards whenever u r hiring someone, don't ask for their resume, ask for their kundali instead n hire dem accordingly.. coz u cant know by lookin at his resume how ur stars/planets/black holes might get influenced after u hire him.. moreover da planets may cast an angry spell on u if u ignore dem in da hiring process.. also to add fuel to da fire, dis is a recession time boss.. the 'stars' must be crazy!!

Predict my future astro'logically'.. i dont believe in myself!!!

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