Wednesday, June 24

Kismat Kumar @ ECE Dept, NITW

"Om Guruham Namaamyaham" --CBR, during the felicitation of Prof. JSR on da occasion of the latter's VRS

"I call my Ph.D guide on Sept 5 every year ma.. u guys dont have the courtesy to even wish ur teachers on Teacher's day" --KK (Dr.T.Kishore Kumar aka Kismat Kumar), on numerous occasions

Hmm.. dese guys really shud have deep respect n gratitude for their mentors coz.. hey c'mon i wont tell u dis time too.. dishonestly speaking, i really feel very bad to write such things on my Dept n my Coll (well.. if i really have dat 'college patriotism' i wont start writin dis stuff in the very first place).. So it really gives me loads of satisfaction to write abt dese ppl.. I used to think faculty at colleges like nitw ll be very motivated, intellectual, empowering, dexterous n.. (hey get a thesaurus n write da words for urself.. i m sick of usin dis Word Web software)

I wanna tell u some trivia.. u know how our proj guides r allotted.. first our ex-HOD Sarma allotted numbers to da proj batches n one of the students picked up a batch num by chits.. one of the guys in the correspondin batch wud come n pick up their proj guides name by chits again.. I picked up "Pappu's" students batch.. we escaped.. well KK was allotted to us n we cudn't know wheter to feel happy or sad or indifferent..

Frankly speakin i thought KK had some idea on Speech Processing which he claims as his area of interest n states dat he worked on speech processing wen he worked as a spy (ha ha.. i really doubt dis.. dis James Bond worked as a spy?? may be if he comes to know abt CIA he wud claim dat he worked for CIA) in PM's Cabinet Office in Telephone Dept.. but he doesnt even know why quantization is done (i m not makin dis up)

I thought not to give my opinions n speculations abt KK.. so here are some memorable excerpts from our batch (gunta, myself, jissin, u know who da other one is) meetings with KK.. dont try to get to opinions n speculations abt KK.. he wud be still far below ur "worst" opinion(not at all kiddin.. i have experienced dis)

#1. We had put a pen drive into KK's PC ( he has 400 MB free space in C drive and 3.5 GB free space in D drive.. dats da way he knows how to maintain a PC.. his desktop is flooded with ppts, folders, etc.. i dont think he knows dat files can be saved elsewhere other dan on desktop).. He put a virus scan on da pen drive(i wanna know who told him abt 'viruses' n 'antivirus').. well.. some trojan warning popped up as usual
KK: wat is dis ma.. u bring viruses into my pc.. see some Tarzan is comin
(dis is true.. he said 'Tarzan')
Another trojan warning popped up
KK: See ma.. another Tarzan..

#2. He asked us to collect some ppts on some Radar clutter n applications.. we dint wanna do dat work for him.. so we were askin how we wud get da ppts
KK: See ma.. u can get dem on the net.. i got dem thru Googly search
(i dont know if hez a hardcore fan of Anil Kumble or Shane Warne.. but he said 'googly')

#3. He was leavin for France (dats y we call him Kismat Kumar) n he wants to buy a laptop in Dubai airport (someone told dis cheap fellow dat laptops r cheaper in Dubai).. to get him more excited Jissin told him to ask the shop guy not to put genuine XP as it costs him a few more bucks..
Me: Sir, if u dont load OS den ask the shop guy for Drivers
(Now dont look at me like dat.. well its true dat ne one maintainin a pc will have the minimum common sense for gettin a driver cd.. read the next lines)
KK: Drivers for wat ma..?
If KV Sridar had been there he wud have said (read it as 'shouted') "Are u a fool to talk like dat?"
(The scene is not finished...) 

Me: (got shocked.. as u have got now) Well.. if u dont ask for XP while buying, u need to format it in the plane sir..
(dat poor sense of inference of my words is a result of dat shock.. ne way he ll stay in Dubai airport only for 2 hrs.. so i told him in dat way)
KK: (in "is it so?" kinda innocent way) Wat ma.. will dey ask me to format my laptop wen i get into the plane..?

The above place was intentionally left blank.. i could not get wat to write in it.. ne suggestions?? plz comment

Well.. though KK is exceptionally stupid technically, he has got lots of timing for jokes.. one good one i always liked.. this was in the DSP class (3rd year).. instead of 2nd minor he asked us to give seminar in batches of 2-3, our classmate Sridar (not da 'Shouting Star' one.. dis one is a student) hasn't got ne batchmate
KK: (to Sridar) why haven't u submitted a topic for da seminar ma..?
Sridar: (I dunno y he said dis) Sir, I m single..
(Well.. he meant dat he hasn't got ne batchmate.. now see how KK reacts)
KK: I m not askin ur personal problems ma..
( We all were in splits.. i bullied Sridar callin him 'Single Sridar' for some days)

I ll conclude tellin u how lucky our 'Kismat Kumar' is.. he toured Germany n Czech Republic last year on da credit of one of his student's paper.. he toured France for 2 months (is he not lucky?) on behalf of Tequip.. he told us he wud go to France again next year..

He is really 'Kismat Kumar'.. isnt he..?

P.S: Be a follower of my blog if u like it.. the button is to the left of this page..

Saturday, June 20

The Reality show without SMS requests

So i m continuing the discussion of our seminars.. read the prev post if u havent read it.. coz dis is a continuation..

In our Indian movies durin mid '80-'90s (n even some now) b4 presentin the star hero, directors used to show his diff body parts.. in the order of appearance are.. shoes, legs, thighs (i still wonder y they show his thighs), the bottoms (dont think i m sick n disgustin.. i m not fakin.. see old movies once again), chest, shoulders (waste showin dese.. many heroes dint used to work out those times), neck.. n finally the face... (well now heroines r being presented like dat.. may be gettin equality for women with men takes a little time nywhere)

Now i m gonna give u Our "Shouting Star" K.V.Sridhar's 'trademark' openings b4 he talks.. (in the order of freq of his usage n I m capitalizing where he shouts)

(dis is true.. he shouts at every word wen he opens with dis line.. dis opening means dat the person standin b4 him is goin to be... well u might have guessed by now..)

(in dis line also he shouts at every word.. the meanin of dis opening line is da same as prev one)

#3. There are VARIETY of applications..
(well dis is a softer one.. shoutin on only 1 word.. dis opening means dat hez not havin even the slightest idea on the topic hez talkin abt)

#4. Are you SATISFIED with his ANSWER?
(shoutin on 2 words, dis is really a tricky question.. dis ll be posed to the person who asked a question in the seminar.. the outcome may be the items 1,2 or 3 listed above dependin on how he answered the above ques)

u know how 'reality dance shows' n 'reality singing competitions' are like.. the shivering contestant performs n the spice of da show follows.. the judges 'bang' him n stop it only after the victim starts cryin.. n the pathetic victim requests for SMSs from the viewers with tears in his eyes.. our seminars were the same except for the SMS part which is replaced by "Questionaire for the audience by the alleged victim".. (u might have seen in da movie 'Saw' how da psychopath killer influences n trains others to become his successors.. dis 'questionaire' to bang the audience is in the similar lines)

the other judge for our 'reality seminar shows' was Dr.T.Kishore Kumar (hey.. hez also my 'proj guide' man.. i ll tell abt him in the later posts.. plz feel free to comment upon him in dis page).. well KK was the quiet one n the 'Shouting star' was keepin on his stardom.. the seminar classes were 1 per week acc to dept schedule but our star used to take 2 per week (omg.. dats 6 hammerin hours per week.. dis is really an atrocity!!)

Our Shouting star was so busy with his schedule dat he took 2 seminar classes after the lab end exams failin to comlplete within the given time even after takin 2 classes per week (wat to do.. hez a busy star).. He thinks hez a King Lear in the subject (dont ask which subject.. item no #3 above comes den).. but hez not even a King Kong in da subject.. he even kept a 'Surprise slip test' on the seminar topics in a class..

I ll conclude this post by quotin Vennam Ravi Kumar's (topper of the batch, soft spoken guy) comment on our judges after this 'Surprise slip test' (i m not makin dis thing up.. he really said dis)

We all came out after the seminar class.. dat day it was conducted in META seminar hall..
Me: (addressin no one.. actually it was to everyone) Arey.. will dese fellows really evaluate this test papers?
Vennam: (to my surprise he replied) Well these guys don't even know what the answers are.. keep aside the evaluation..

The credit for gettin a comment from Vennam on the faculty of ece dept for the first time in 4 yrs (he never criticized in dis level ne lecturer in ece dept) goes to the "Shouting Star" K.V.Sridhar..

P.S: Be a follower of my blog if u like it.. the button is to the left of this page..

Friday, June 19

...from The Big Bang to Black Holes

A brief history of Time from the big bang to black holes by Stephen Hawking.. dis influential book gave me an interesting memory for me in the final semester of my graduation..

U know how the final semesters are like.. full busy with proj work, seminars n gettin prepared mentally to leave the college (to avoid "oh my dear!! I am going to leave my coll!! boo-hoo noooo.. I can't leave dis beeaauutifuuul place" kinda feelings).. well my final semseter was the same except for the first n last items listed above.. yes it was only the SEMINARS dat occupied most of my final sem time.. the stupid 1 credit seminar schedule was so hectic dat i had to bunk 3 credit classes for the relief from the seminars (for all those guys who never knew the joy u get from bunkin classes.... go to hell... u r psychopathic geeks)

Comin to da schedule of our seminars, the credit shud be given to Prof.C.B.Rama Rao (dis is the first name other dan myself i m quotin in my blog) who took the charge of seminars initially n Mr.K.V.Sridhar (dis is the second name other dan myself i m quotin in my blog) who was his successor takin the charge after CBR became HOD.. (well i dont wanna tell u y i qouted dese 2 persons coz u may start lecturin me how n y teachers r supposed to be regarded high).. i think u got my point.. dese 2 guys dont belong to the regardin sect..

The seminars started off.. not one student even the ones givin the ppt standin on the dais r concerned, interested n even bothered abt the seminar.. but CBR wanted to give such a show off to 'his' seminars that the college should think (to be honest) dat he is capable of atleast takin charge of seminars ( dat was how the entire nitw thot of CBR.. i want to see the guy who gave CBR a PhD n ask him under wat kind of psychological condition he was in wen he did dat)

So i too was among the rest of da class who rnt interested in the seminars n one fine day i took dis amazin book "A brief history of Time" to da seminar class to read there.. well dis book is a non-fiction one n is very interseting.. as usual i was deeply immersed in the book wen CBR saw me.. he shouted at me.. he became 'the fast and the furious'.. no one (even myself) saw him gettin angry to dat level in the last 7 sems.. (might be its my day).. after makin a note of my roll num he shouted at me to bring my father (Dis is really funny!! he has the student himself in front of him with whom he can do nything n hez askin for his father.. thinks we r school pupils to get afraid of dat).. finally he took the book n threw me out of the seminar hall..

Durin the tea break, i thought to butter him n went to him.. he was in the seminar hall n the rest of class except for a few were havin tea outside the hall.. our exact conversation..

Me: Sir, I am really sorry for wat happened but i was preparin for my seminar topic..
(He gave me a look of surprise)
Me: The book has a topic on black holes sir n i am readin it..
CBR: Wats ur seminar topic? (He thought dat was the question to check if i was butterin him or not.. well dat was an obvious ques to expect.. isnt it)
Me: Region detectors for image analysis sir.. particularly space applications.. i was readin this book for detection of black holes from the photographs of galaxies..
(Well there was sense is dat answer.. but ne one who had some idea on black holes might detect the missing threads in the ans.. ne way i had confidence on the talent of CBR n took a shot)
CBR: (pleased) but u shudnt read it in the class na.. plz sit in the class n follow the seminars..

Wat did jus happen?? Watz dat "plz"?? dats wasnt my talent exactly.. it was CBRs 'talent'.. we all have always 'heard" of his talent but never "realized" it..

since everyone in the class dint watch dis live n exclusive, dey were surprised to see me in the hall after tea break (may be dey thot i ll get my slash from him).. n later many asked me wat happened n found out dat instead i got a pat on my back

I ll tell u how the seminars were conducted by K.V.Sridhar in my next post

With Sridhar, the seminars were like "Reality Talent Shows".. along with another judge... (details in next post)

P.S: Be a follower of my blog if u like it.. the button is to the left of this page..

Thursday, June 18

The "Script" that was well scripted but never screened

Cheers to Sarath Teja Somina.. whoz in the exact middle of success n failure.. (dis may not be kiddin).. opening the second post wid the closin lines of my prev post reminds me of the short film script we developed last sem (its an original one.. not some lift-off like our "nandi" telugu films)

Springspree '09.. i cant exactly recall this year's caption.. but wen i was in second year it was "Rendezvous with Nirvana" (i want to know who coined dis one.. may be he/she is a lover of mafia films.. wazup with this 'rendezvous'.. cant dey find another cool word??)..
Yeah.. i remember now.. it was simply sort of "The golden jubilee Springspree.. Return to innocence"..

Well why i drifted off to springspree was dat for a short movie screenin competition last sem in springspree we made dat script.. well we had our bounds for makin dis.. the concept needs to be child labor (wait.. wait.. dis is not a docu type or a senti type the one we made!!).. n another thing is dat people shud be able to watch it.. its shudn't be like a preachin dat we see daily at 6 AM in our idiot box.. (well i think the person who referred the TV as an 'idiot box' watched it at 6 AM n coined the name)..

So we made a script with 2 tracks going parallel in the movie.. in the middle of the movie ther ll be a discussion/debate on child labor (thnx to "Doubt boy" for his involvement in the debate part of da movie.. the points r really fresh n i havent seen a discussion on dis side of child labor).. the script came out really well n even we finished the casting (hee hee.. the cast members were our classmates.. but the real 'screen actress' of our class wasn't involved).. well we couldn't shoot the film coz.. hee hee i m embarrassed to say dis.. coz.. WE COULDN'T GET A GOOD RESOLUTION VIDEO CAMERA (now dont laugh at us.. like everyone in our class.. prove dat u r different from the typical human being)

I recall a joke from Russell Peter's comedy.. he tells abt the cheapness of Indians n how the number '0' (zero) was invented.. well the joke is good wen it is performed

An Indian goes to a shop n sees the prices list consisting of 1,2,3... 9
Indian: (Gettin surprised) "There isnt one price I wanna pay"
He writes a big '0' on the prices list
Another guy: "Wats dat?"
Indian: (shakin his hand) "Nothing"
Another guy: "Wat is its value?"
Indian: (shakin his hand) "Nothin" ( he starts to cry n wipes his eyes) "But it is beautiful"

The conversation between the script writers n the rest of our class was the same except for the first 3 lines..

Yes.. It is beautiful.. (not the zero stupid.. our script)

P.S: Be a follower of my blog if u like it.. the button is to the left of this page..

Wednesday, June 17

Return of the King on his B'day

Ahh... finally exams were finished.. well dat was 50 days back.. celebratin the 50th day of my completion of graduation... the coinicidence.. TODAY IS MY B'DAY!!! To be honest... I almost forgot dis blog until I saw one of my fren's blog n thought to revive my blog.. u can think it as my bday resolution to update the blog daily..

I got my provisional certificate (I need to call it a "certificate" even though it was a print out from computer.. zero cheers to the recession in NITW!!) some 1 month back.. I am seeing it daily to remind myself I finished my graduation (jus kiddin).. none of my frens is here.. at rjy.. all got regrets from the cos they were placed in.. some went for gate, cat (watever) coachin.. n some r in the Silicon city n Biryani city searchin for jobs.. only I am left here in the Godavari city..

Yeaterday it was 46.5 C here (not kiddin.. i m dam serious) we all r literally gettin baked here (dis is definitely kiddin).. k... k.. figuratively we r like tandoori human roast.. (for all the cannibals over dere.. welcome to rjy.. food is really famous here).. today i dunno wat was the temp.. but hotter dan yesterday..

Finally I m signin off for today with a toast for myself!! (wat to do? no frens here to have a bday party)... Cheers to Sarath Teja Somina.. whoz in the exact middle of success n failure.. (dis may not be kiddin)

P.S: Be a follower of my blog if u like it.. the button is to the left of this page..