Saturday, November 27

The "Eco-unfriendly" encyclopedia

Hello everyone.. not much delay this time (only one month).. I'm back with some "stuff"..

Today, I saw this board in my office wash room.. it says "We are Eco-friendly organization, please co-operate in this regard". Well, I see that board everyday, but today I was rather observant. I see many individuals, organizations, companies, industries, factories claiming themselves as "Eco-friendly" (btw I still cannot figure out how factories can be eco-friendly). This eco-friendly fanaticism is becoming much popular lately.

Now, facts aside.. It just occurred to me today if there's any organization which claims itself as "Eco-unfriendly".. This hypothetical organization says "We are Eco-unfriendly, we hate the Eco, Eco's totally uncool, The last person with whom we make friends is Eco". And what might their wash room boards read? "Use the toilet paper as much as you want, We have lots of bamboo around" or "One paper might not meet the requirement, think again.. With a shit-smelling ass on your back, saving trees is not really your problem right now" or "Couldn't solve the su-do-ku on this square? Try another puzzle on the on-coming toilet paper, we have 4 difficulty levels".

And in the printer room, something like "We encourage one-sided printing, We actually regret why HP made two-sided printers and micro-printing machines".. on the paper-boxes "I'm desperate, use me pleeez". And in the email signatures, "Never think twice before printing this e-mail. Have printing problems? Click here" or "Our organization is committed to the best practices in order to become the biggest customer for paper industry"

In this "Eco-unfriendly" organization, every goddamn notification would come as paper circulars with people delivering them to each employee. And there would be much clarity if the circulars have captions like "Our vision 2012 is to hire the largest facilities staff in the business" or "Take a photocopy and share this with your colleagues, A combo of HP photocopier and paper really makes life simple". Also, PPTs won't be much encouraged, and chart presentations would be applauded saying "Why Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V when you can write and draw?" or "Use your hands, buddy.. Ask for marker pens and charts, we have the largest facilities staff in the business to serve you"

Now, enough with this hypothetical stuff, let's speculate what if some companies we have in the business now start this "Eco-unfriendliness".. Kimberly-Clark would start making "120 GSM toilet-paper" and "Executive-bond toilet-paper" with captions like "Loo-paper for the executives, comes with an executive touch" or "Thicker, cleaner, much better and lasts longer". Microsoft would have to give MS Office free with Windows as no office buys the software. Adobe can stop its work on Acrobat reader. 

Wonder what would happen if Wikipedia goes "Eco-unfriendly"!! I think after that, some final surviving pieces of bamboo would be kept in museums under the "fossils" section..


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6 comments:

kalyan Dheeraj said...

finally a funny post without much of "anti-matter" :P
The thought of eco-unfriendly organisation is cleverly amusing..Actually many organisations are of the same case..the quantity of unnecessary resources they use, the amount of energy they consume are all too ominous to be ignored..leave alone the effects of factories and the like..

btw..apart from being eco friendly, ur blog must be reader-frienly too...the black background and glaring white letters makes it a difficult read..( i've read it from my mail (feedblitz subscription! ) )

Prasad said...

Loo-paper for the executives, comes with an executive touch...Lol

Sarath Teja Somina said...

@KD: Dude, wat do u mean by "anti-matter" in my blog? :)

Sarath Teja Somina said...

@KDV: :)

Chaitanya said...

I think it is worth a mention here that factories being 'eco-friendly' is a wrong notion. They need to be 'responsible towards the enviromnent'
What would you be today without all those factories? Textile mills, paper mills, pharma comanies and so on....
On your part, are you willing not to use clothes, not to use paper, not to use medicines when you arent well? If your answer to any of this is yes, I will say you are a hypocrite :P
I say this being a Chemical engineer, and knowing my responsibility towards the environment.

Sarath Teja Somina said...

@Chaitanya:
I think the concept of "eco-friendliness" is heavily over-rated. If we want to be eco-friendly in the strictest sense, we should dump the second law of thermodynamics (converting energy from one form to another) in the dustbin and sit idle. Energy conversion gives some waste as a product and even if we recycle the waste, it'll result in another small amount of waste.
Of course factories need to be responsible towards the environment so that waste is recycled to the fullest, not damaging the ecosystem to the level of genetic mutation, etc., And we have watchdogs to make sure this is happening
I don't really have anything against industrialization and chemicals. Without industries, we cannot think ourselves as a progressed civilization. This post is not aimed specifically at chemical industries as I am unaware of the environment quality protection standards followed there. This post was specifically for "Think how many trees are axed for this paper" notices